The Sexy Spinster Summer To Do List

So you’re a Sexy Spinster over 40, single and child free. What are your options for fun summer things to do? You want to be social, active, have fun and maybe find a summer romance (or two, or three). I’m going to throw out my ideas for things to do and I need your suggestions too. There’s a theme to all the list entries, and that theme is big crowds of similar aged like minded people. You’ll probably see good looking men you didn’t realize lived in your city

Top 5 Summer To Do List

1. Summer Festivals

Here in Madison, WI we have Summer Festival Season, and it starts this weekend! Your area probably has ethnic festivals like Italian or Greek. Check out neighborhood festivals too. The benefit of festivals is the sheer volume of people. There’s more eye candy than any bars or your friend’s house parties. Your odds of meeting a like minded person go way up. Go to a festival during the day with your nieces and nephews, go to festivals at night to meet and mingle with people your age.

2. Baseball Game

No I’m not a baseball fan, but I suck it up and go because there are always men of all ages (and sizes) to look at. If you’re sitting close enough you can ogle the baseball players. Some of them are even good looking. If you’re not close to a MLB Team go to your local non-professional team games.

3. Roadtrip to Chicagohancock-center-345415_1280

The best summer city in America period. Go to a Cubs or White Sox game, go to the Art Institute, hang out at Oak Street Beach, see a Second City improv show, Navy Pier boat cruise, dinner and drinks in The Viagra Triangle. Time your trip for Taste of Chicago around Fourth of July. The Viagra Triangle is on Division Street and Rush Street; Gibson’s Bar & Steakhouse is probably the main attraction in that area. Plus : shopping shopping shopping.


If you don’t have a boat, find a friend with a boat, make new friends with someone who has a boat. Find a place that will rent a boat to you. There’s a whole alternate reality/universe Boat Society going on during the summer that you’re not a part of. You need to get in there and check it out. Bonus: you can act out the “I’M ON A BOAT” video!

5. Day Drinking

Start with a Bloody Mary during brunch and don’t stop. Play a board game or card game outside all day, go shopping, or people watching. You could play volleyball I guess. Here’s the best advice: combine #5 with Summer To Do List items #1-#4.

Words with Friends is your new Dating App

words rev

Find & Chat Up Dudes Near You

Here’s a new (new to me!) way to meet like minded men to date. There’s a Tinder-like feature inside the Words with Friends game app. If you open up Community Match, you can put your zip code and select nearby men. Then pictures of dudes come up, and just like Tinder you swipe right if you want to send a request to play, you swipe left if you’re not interested. Yes I did it, and I’m playing Words with Friends with 3 good looking guys that theoretically live near me.

While you’re playing you can have a running conversation chat. My favorite part about this idea is that I love Scrabble and people who play this game probably enjoy that game too. SO its something we have in common and there’s a context for a conversation to happen. I know a woman who is slightly older than I am and she met a guy in real life from Words with Friends. She said he didn’t look like his profile picture so it didn’t work out. I’ll keep you posted if I wind up meeting a guy in real life. Words with Friends is free on iPhone and Android app stores.

I’m chatting up a guy that theoretically lives near me now. Have you met anyone using Words with Friends?

The Sexy Spinster is ALL about Dad Bod

I have been reading articles about this term Dad Bod that was invented by Mackenzie Pearson for an article called “Why Girls Love The Dad Bod” in Odyssey. She has conjured up this term and gave a name to my attraction to the men in The Sexy Spinster’s age group 40’s & 50’s who I’m drawn to. Now I have a way to articulate what I’m looking for in an online dating profile! Here’s a quote from the article:

The dad bod says, “I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time.”

Above is a 2011 picture of actor Chris Pratt with his Dad Bod before he got his Starlord body for ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’.

I live in Wisconsin, so Dad Bod is very easy to come by. I’m not attracted to these roidy muscle dudes or the triathlete, too intimidating. That guy will disapprove of my eating/drinking habits and make thinly veiled comments about my body or my weight. Now I’ll say what I really think when I see a reasonably attractive guy who is way overweight : terrible sex. Because how does he have the stamina, or how does the positioning work? Now the guy who has a little tire around his waist but there’s definition in his arms and legs? Best of all worlds. He’s accessible, sorta active and tolerant of my love of pasta, pizza and beer. He probably has the stamina and interest in sex that matches mine.

Excuse me while I go re-write my online dating profile to say Desperately Seeking Dad Bod in WI. What do you think? Dad Bod yes or no.

The Last F**kable Day from ‘Inside Amy Schumer’

I HAD to post this and comment on it because this is precisely the type of subject matter I want to cover in this blog! My beloved Tina Fey, Patricia Arquette, Julia Louis-Dreyfus toasting Julia’s Last F**ckable Day as an actress, as seen on ‘Inside Amy Schumer’ on Comedy Central. This is nine kinds of genius because it finds a smart & humorous way to address the notion that women become sexually invisible in the real world and in make believe movies sometime in their 40’s. I can’t remember where I heard it or read it, but its been said there are 3 phases to an actress’s career: Hooker, Mom, District Attorney. But men remain desirable until they die.

Rationally not being sexually visible probably has to do with not being able to have babies and menopause and all of that. I plan on ignoring all those expectations and not dressing my age or acting my age and going against notions of what women are Supposed To Do. Here’s what’s expected: Let yourself go, lose your fashion sense, stop having sex and become uninteresting. Here’s what I propose you do; eat right and exercise, wear flattering current clothes, be interested so you’re interesting.

If You Don’t Use It You’ll Lose It

I saw on Dr. Oz that if you don’t “use it you’ll lose it”.  The gynecologist on there said your vagina will close up if you don’t use it.  So invest in a toy, buy it online so you don’t have to go to a store and use it! Also have actual fun sex whenever you can while being safe and don’t forget birth control. Sex is so good for you for so many reasons. Don’t stop pursuing it just because you think there’s some unwritten rule about being sexually invisible after a certain age. Get a good attitude about sex and go get it. What do you think?

The Sexy Spinster Top 5 Online Dating Sites

valentine-636027_1280If you’re a professional woman with a full time job over the age of 40 then online dating is probably the only way you have to meet men. My online dating pattern is to sign up for 3 months and quit after 6-8 weeks. In my experience, the most common scenario that plays out is that I strike up a conversation with an interesting guy, after a week or two it gets boring for both of us, and the trail goes cold. Only 4 times in my whole life have I met a guy in the real world face to face. The things I look for in a online dating profile are a smile in the profile photo, pictures that don’t obscure the face, a sense of humor and a personality, originality, well traveled, common interests (movies, books, tv, music).

I strongly believe that a man’s use of the word FEMALES to describe women is directly related to how much he hates women. We’re human beings, not some squirrel on an Animal Planet Documentary. That is the filter I use when evaluating a whether or not to interact with a guy. If he uses the word ‘FEMALES’ then he’s out. That’s the rating system for this countdown: unscientific arbitrary guesses at the likeliness to use the term FEMALE.

Top 5 Online Dating Sites

  1. E Harmony – I tried this for about 2 weeks. The profiles I read and messages received indicated that all of the men in my age group were overly serious and melodramatic. No personality, and hardly a trace of a sense of humor. Home of the socially awkward.

Likeliness to use the term FEMALE: 89%

  1. Plenty of Fish – This is one step up from eharmony. Maybe the membership isn’t as high with this one, but its a valid option. There’s some profiles with flashes of personality but hardly worth it.

Likeliness to use the term FEMALE: 75%

  1. zoosk – I liked this one while I was on it because I made a connection that was totally entertaining, but never ever turned into a real life meeting. He was NOT interested in meeting in person but wanted to chat. every. night. Don’t get it.

Likeliness to use the term FEMALE: 60%

  1. – I don’t know this for a fact but I think this has the most members so its likely you’ll find someone interesting.  I met a guy in the real world from here recently. I wasn’t 100% sure about him, so I turned down an invitation to his house and he never spoke to me again.

Likeliness to use the term FEMALE: 30%

  1. okcupid – PURE ENTERTAINMENT. Those surveys with all those questions, best invention ever. You’ll learn things about yourself you didn’t know. The site is free to join, so anything goes. Getting propositioned for FWB (friends with benefits), or threesome will probably happen. You might learn about new and exciting fetishes you’ve never heard of.

Likeliness to use the term FEMALE: 20%

If you’re wondering where Christian Mingle is, then you’re on the wrong blog. I would consider joining Christian Mingle as a joke, fill out a profile using a picture of a 19 year old Sister Wife who recently left a cult and was looking for a mate. Then sit back and count how many 50 + year old men try to get with ‘her’.

Important Online Dating Tips

The most important thing with online dating is to BE SAFE. Block and report the guys who send threatening messages when you have the nerve to not respond to them. If you meet a guy, meet in a public place, get his last name, look his ass up in the criminal court records, and Google him. Tell him you’re doing it, and say that he’s more than welcome to look you up too. I hope this common sense information isn’t necessary to impart but here it goes anyway: If it’s to good to be true, it probably is. Never send money.

What are your online dating tips or experiences?