The Sexy Spinster Top 5 Online Dating Sites

valentine-636027_1280If you’re a professional woman with a full time job over the age of 40 then online dating is probably the only way you have to meet men. My online dating pattern is to sign up for 3 months and quit after 6-8 weeks. In my experience, the most common scenario that plays out is that I strike up a conversation with an interesting guy, after a week or two it gets boring for both of us, and the trail goes cold. Only 4 times in my whole life have I met a guy in the real world face to face. The things I look for in a online dating profile are a smile in the profile photo, pictures that don’t obscure the face, a sense of humor and a personality, originality, well traveled, common interests (movies, books, tv, music).

I strongly believe that a man’s use of the word FEMALES to describe women is directly related to how much he hates women. We’re human beings, not some squirrel on an Animal Planet Documentary. That is the filter I use when evaluating a whether or not to interact with a guy. If he uses the word ‘FEMALES’ then he’s out. That’s the rating system for this countdown: unscientific arbitrary guesses at the likeliness to use the term FEMALE.

Top 5 Online Dating Sites

  1. E Harmony – I tried this for about 2 weeks. The profiles I read and messages received indicated that all of the men in my age group were overly serious and melodramatic. No personality, and hardly a trace of a sense of humor. Home of the socially awkward.

Likeliness to use the term FEMALE: 89%

  1. Plenty of Fish – This is one step up from eharmony. Maybe the membership isn’t as high with this one, but its a valid option. There’s some profiles with flashes of personality but hardly worth it.

Likeliness to use the term FEMALE: 75%

  1. zoosk – I liked this one while I was on it because I made a connection that was totally entertaining, but never ever turned into a real life meeting. He was NOT interested in meeting in person but wanted to chat. every. night. Don’t get it.

Likeliness to use the term FEMALE: 60%

  1. match.com – I don’t know this for a fact but I think this has the most members so its likely you’ll find someone interesting.  I met a guy in the real world from here recently. I wasn’t 100% sure about him, so I turned down an invitation to his house and he never spoke to me again.

Likeliness to use the term FEMALE: 30%

  1. okcupid – PURE ENTERTAINMENT. Those surveys with all those questions, best invention ever. You’ll learn things about yourself you didn’t know. The site is free to join, so anything goes. Getting propositioned for FWB (friends with benefits), or threesome will probably happen. You might learn about new and exciting fetishes you’ve never heard of.

Likeliness to use the term FEMALE: 20%

If you’re wondering where Christian Mingle is, then you’re on the wrong blog. I would consider joining Christian Mingle as a joke, fill out a profile using a picture of a 19 year old Sister Wife who recently left a cult and was looking for a mate. Then sit back and count how many 50 + year old men try to get with ‘her’.

Important Online Dating Tips

The most important thing with online dating is to BE SAFE. Block and report the guys who send threatening messages when you have the nerve to not respond to them. If you meet a guy, meet in a public place, get his last name, look his ass up in the criminal court records, and Google him. Tell him you’re doing it, and say that he’s more than welcome to look you up too. I hope this common sense information isn’t necessary to impart but here it goes anyway: If it’s to good to be true, it probably is. Never send money.

What are your online dating tips or experiences?

The Sexy Spinster Quote – Tina Fey

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DO YOUR OWN THING

Oh look, an excuse to write about and talk about my favorite imaginary best friend Tina Fey. This quote comes from her awesome book ‘Bossypants’. You must must read it. Or even better get the audiobook and listen to it in the car on the way to work. I can’t say enough good things about it. It’s autobiographical, written with her unique perspective and sense of humor. This quote could be considered a mission statement for The Sexy Spinster blog as well. Like I said in my ‘About’ section, whether you chose to be unmarried and childfree, or circumstances led you to it, ‘Do your own thing and don’t care if they don’t like it’. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, don’t apologize, don’t put yourself down, own it.

The New Brat Pack?!

“I don’t remember who met who first, or who fell in love with who first. All I can remember is the seven of us always together…”

That quote must ring a bell if you were in high school or college in the mid to late 80’s. In case you forgot The Brat Pack, were actors in the films “Breakfast Club” and “St. Elmo’s Fire”: Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Andrew McCarthy, Anthony Michael Hall. Because this:

The brat pack is NOT: Justin Bieber, Kendall Jenner, Ansel Elgort ‘and more’. My beloved VOGUE has gone outer limits crazy and declared that these twats are the new brat pack (see all lower case there? On purpose & it stays.)  If you have to read the justification for this outrage here’s the link.

Since I’m over 40, I’m all about The Brat Pack, original flavor. They were exactly my age in movies about people who were exactly my age, except there were cooler & better looking. Don’t you always fantasize that the actors in your favorite movies are friends with each other in real life too? I do. Turns out these guys actually were friends in the 80’s while they were making these movies. They were drinking, drugging, dating, sexing, partying and marrying. I don’t think we’ll ever know everything they did. I’d rather wildly speculate about what they did and hope they all stay healthy forever.

This post has been brought to you by too much time on my hands and too much caffeine.

The Sexy Spinster Quote – Diana Vreeland

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YOU GOTTA HAVE STYLE

Diana Vreeland was a columnist at Harper’s Bazaar from 1936 until 1962, she was credited with discovering Lauren Bacall. After resigning from Harper’s Bazaar, she became Editor in Chief at Vogue during the 1960’s. I would strongly encourage you to watch the superb documentary “Diana Vreeland: The Eye Has to Travel”. She’s an amazing woman who had tremendous influence and style for decades. Basically, I want to be her when I grow up.

MARCH: What to binge watch on Netflix

Since spinsters have no kids or spouse to chase after, that means we have plenty of time for binge watching shows on Netflix on the weekends! Netflix was practically invented for people in our situation. All you need to add is popcorn and wine. What else are you going to do? Meet that weirdo from OK Cupid?

1. UNBREAKABLE KIMMY SCHMIDT!

Kimmy Schmidt (Ellie Kemper) is rescued from an underground bunker where she was part of a doomsday cult for 15 years. She was trapped with three other women, held by The Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne in a small town in Indiana. After appearing on the Today Show with the women she was trapped with, Kimmy decides to hide in New York City instead of going back to Indiana. Soon after, she finds an apartment with a built-in roommate named Titus (Tituss Burgess), and a nosy landlady named Lillian (Carol Kane). Kimmy finds a household assistant job with a rich lonely housewife named Jacqueline (Jane Krakowski). There’s a love triangle with a Chinese Food delivery guy, and a billionaire playboy. First season ends with the trial of Richard Wayne Gary Wayne in Indiana (wait until you see who plays him!! I won’t spoil it). Only one complaint from me: needs more TRACY MORGAN. Here’s how the first episode of the first show opens: You Tube video auto tuned news story which turns into the show’s theme song.

2. HOUSE OF CARDS : RISE OF CLAIRE UNDERWOOD

This is the third season, so if you haven’t seen season one or two, you’re missing out. This season starts with President Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey) assuming power after the previous president resigns. That was all because of Frank’s political games. The main story is the conflict between Frank and his wife Claire (Robin Wright). Frank has everything he ever wanted, now Claire wants hers. The marital power struggle between Frank and Claire plays out on the world stage. Claire’s frustrations come to a boiling point when she can’t help speaking her mind about a political prisoner in Russia, causing the Russian President to retaliate. All the supporting players are back (the ones that are alive), plus a writer Frank hires to write his biography in an attempt to sway public opinion. The book ultimately comes between Frank and Claire as well. Here’s the trailer:

Ideas for Being a Fun Aunt

Go to a Movie

I’m taking my 4 year old and 2 year old nieces to “Cinderella” weekend of 3/27. Its a really good sign that the movie is getting excellent reviews! I’m excited about seeing it because it stars King of the North from ‘Game of Thrones’ and Cousin Rose from ‘Downton Abbey’.  “Cinderella” has a Rotten Tomato score = 84% If you are not familiar with the Rotten Tomato’s scoring its a consensus of critics that give it the rating. There’s a separate score for audience reviews too, that’s at 87% for “Cinderella”. Frame of reference: Oscar winner “Birdman” has a 93% and “Gone Girl” has 88% on Rotten Tomato. Movies are always a good idea as far as I’m concerned.  It helps to take kids to movies that I want to see as well (like Harry Potter). I think you can try it between 2-3, depending on the kid.

Arts & Crafts

Do you know how many ready made project-in-a-box busy work crafty things there are for sale at stores like Michael’s? My nieces came over to their Aunt’s house for Mother’s Day and we made plates. They drew on some paper, cut out some stickers, then I glued them on the back with her name and date. There’s also Gingerbread Houses for Christmas Time. They have everything in a box to build gingerbread houses at Michael’s. You don’t have to strain your brain trying to figure out what supplies you need for crafts, they are all in one box. Behold the master pieces:

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The case for JUMPSUITS

You can be any age to wear jumpsuits. All one piece, slide it up, button it or zip it and you’re done. There’s dressy with some accessories, chunky earrings and necklace then some strappy sandals. You can also find casual type jumpsuits. These are sexy and flattering. I’m telling you they’re flattering! I bought a casual one and a dressy one. The casual is gray belted crop pants, and the dressy jumpsuit is black sleeveless, a lot like the one in the first picture. Jumpsuits are very ON TREND at the moment too. Check out current magazines and red carpet pictures. Here’s where I suggest you check out jump suits because that’s where I found mine:

zara.com

etsy.com

You can find some at Target, Marshall’s, and TJ Maxx too. Happy Spring!

Spinster characters in the media

There’s Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) of ’30 Rock’. ’30 Rock’ was a favorite of mine the second it began because there she was. A so-called spinster single woman exactly my age, never married, childless, witty, screwy, great job. And her boyfriends were The Allstate Mayhem guy (Dean Winters), Jon Hamm, Matt Damon, Jason Sudeikis, Liz ended up with James Marsden! Also Mary Richards from ‘Mary Tyler Moore’ would have been considered a spinster too. Did you realize both those characters had a job in TV? I worked at a local TV station like Mary Richards did. Maybe she was a role model and I didn’t realize it at the time. I’d say Mary and Liz are both fun representations of single & childfree women.

In movies, the spinster characters are few and far between. The all time best one has to be Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon) from ‘Bull Durham’. That character was the all time Queen of Sexy Spinsters, Susan Sarandon was 42 at the time! Then Susan Sarandon went and played Louise in ‘Thelma and Louise’ that character would be considered a spinster too. What other characters can you think of?